Seattle man offers Weezer $10 million to break up; band says they'll do it for double

weezer-moneyImage Credit: Sean MurphyJames Burns so wants to see the permanent end of Weezer that he is willing to put $10 million (mostly other people’s, in $12 increments) on it.

The Seattle resident has mounted a pledge on DIY fundraising website thepoint.com, calling for the end of the band who, he tells local weekly The Stranger,”are everywhere 15 years after they’ve been musically relevant, whether you try to avoid them or not.”

“If I’m going to be really real,” he continues, “this is a roundabout effort to figure out why the media is still interested in this band despite them not releasing a decent album in over a decade (or I would say, ever.) … Even my girlfriend, the world’s biggest Weezer apologist, concedes that they should have packed it in after side one of The Green Album.

One Pitchfork re-post later, and Burns actually garnered a response from the band—drummer Patrick Wilson posted on his Twitter, “if they can make it 20, we’ll do the “deluxe breakup”!”

Burns has promised that if he fails to reach the full $10 million goal, he will refund all contributions, minus thepoint.com’s 5 percent fee; as of this post, he had raised approximately $194, or less than 0.002 percent of his total.

Click after the jump to read Burns’ full mission statement.

I have never been a fan of this band. I think that they are pretty much horrible, and always have been. Even in the early 90’s.

But this isn’t about me. This is about the Weezer fans. They are our brothers and sisters, our friends, our lovers.

Every year, Rivers Cuomo swears that he’s changed, and that their new album is the best thing that he’s done since “Pinkerton,” and what happens? Another pile of crap like “Beverly Hills” or “I’m Your Daddy.”

This is an abusive relationship, and it needs to stop now.

I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year.I am tired of endless whimsical cutesy album covers and music videos.

I’m sick of hearing about whatever this terrible (and yes, even if you like the early stuff, you should be able to admit that they are wretched now) excuse for a band is up to these days.

If all 852,000 of you (really?) who bought “Pinkerton” pitch in $12, we will meet our goal.

I beg you, Weezer. Take our money and disappear.

(Follow the Music Mix on Twitter: @EWMusicMix.)

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Comments (119 total) Add your comment
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  • reel_deal

    Tasteless Bastard.

    • exasperated

      this is so stupid. there are a lot of artists who i feel the same way about that other people love. trying to act like you are doing a public service instead of satisfying a personal vendetta is lame in the extreme. i would say let’s get rid of justin bieber or miley cyrus or katy perry or lady gaga or half of country music or you get my point?? if people don’t like an artist, don’t buy their music. if someone still IS buying their music, the artists have every right to make it and the audience has every right to buy it. end of story. anyone who says different is an idiot douchebag.

      • crystalj

        Agreed exasperated.

      • taco

        ya, this guy burns is a total D.Bag

    • Roger

      Can we make Muse and U2 go away too?

      • Seddie Forever

        Agree with U2, you all should check out Jennette Mccurdy – her music is awesome

      • fiasco

        No opinion on U2, but Muse stays. You see, they’re actually good.

      • Adura

        PLEASE make Muse go away. PLEASEEEEE

    • me here

      I thought Pork and Beans was good!

  • Karate Pants

    Ha! I love Weezer (admittedly, in a 90’s nostalgic way), but that is hilarious.

    • Nathan

      This is a pretty funny story, Weezer is pretty bad now, but their earlier stuff will always be great.

      • mary q contrary

        My sentiments exactly. I love the Green Album so much, but I couldn’t care less about whether or not they’re still making music, since it does, in fact, suck hard. I’ve got a better suggestion for this guy: instead of calling for their breakup, why not just encourage them to change their name? That way Weezer will always be the band that recorded The Sweater Song, and whatever “whimsical, cutesy” name they come up with now will be responsible for the rest of the crap they release. Eh?

  • Stella

    If you want to destroy my sweater…of all the bands he wants to break up he chooses Weezer? Another fine example of some people having way too much time on their hands.

  • Julie

    This is hysterical. I’d gladly contribute to make Madonna or Lady Gaga go away!

    • Javabooknut

      I need to agree. Don’t love or hate Weezer but usually enjoy at least moderately most of their songs. Now I’d pay good money to make Lady Gaga go away. Sometimes she’s on three presets on my radio at the same time. I can avoid Weezer if I want to.

    • Me

      How silly. After 28 years you still haven’t learned that Madonna isn’t going anywhere?
      Though, if it wasn’t for her we would never have had Lady Gaga…and I would gladly pay $12 to never have to hear or see her again.

    • Justin

      ALL MAINSTREAM MUSIC IS THE WORK OF SATAN

      • Mole

        You don’t consider your work mainstream, Bieber?

    • Merry Bear

      Please start a fund and let me know where to send the check. I’ve never willingly listened to Gaga, but she seems to be permeating my brain–she’s omnipresent! Do whatever you can to make her go away.

  • D’s Advocate

    *This* is the band he chooses to waste this idea on? There are so many more suitable candidates.

    • trashytvlover

      I WOULD PONY UP MY $12 FOR BIEBER!

      • Zaphod

        I would pony up way more for that little girl to just go away.

      • exasperated

        seriously. i am broke, but i would whore myself out to the highest bidder to get rid of justin bieber, all or the jersey shore/hills kids and any more of their ilk!

      • Josh

        I’d pony up 12 dollars for Bieber. But let’s face it, I think it should only be like $2 since unlike Weezer, Bieber’s never even been a little bit decent.

  • This is genius. I hope he makes it.

  • Hans M.

    Idiotic. I think Weezer are lame (always have), but there are so many other bands that can distract me from their continued existence.

  • Jay

    LOL

    this is classic.
    Is there one for Radiohead?

    • Shay

      How about one for Coldplay?

    • Joe

      Bite your tongue Jay. Radiohead is one the most influential bands of the last two decades. I guess your pee-size brain can only handle garbage like Nickleback and Hinder. Those are two bands I’d pay to go away.

      • Cody

        Hahaha, jesus christ. Most influential bands of the last two decades?

      • Jay

        Seriously?!?
        If you want to like Radiohead, go right ahead… but you’re statement is absolutely ridiculous.

        Oh, and I dont care for Nickelback either… and I dont think I’ve ever heard a song from Hinder

      • Lisa

        Are you kidding me? “Lips of an Angel” – Hinder. Nickelback & Hinder have many awesome songs.

      • Chris P.

        Lisa you have to be trolling me right now.

    • Holly

      Yeah – Radiohead and Coldplay for sure. I’m so sick of being told how brilliant they are – they’re pretentious and whiney. Burn them!

      • Ronnie D.

        You are clearly a bunch of fools; Joe was right what he said about Radiohead; they are the only truly innovative band in the world today, and just look which albums rollingstone named the best of not only the 90’s, but the 2000’s as well. Most other respected music sites e.g. Pitchfork seem to agree as well.

      • Angie

        I can’t believe I’m hearing this!!! Radiohead are the best band around today. Even when they break up they will still have massive influence and will have a legacy to be envious about.

      • Maria

        @ Ronnie:
        Nobody takes Rolling Stone and Pitchfork seriously, so you did not aid in making Radiohead look good with your statement.

      • alex

        Ronnie D/Joe have to be told what kind of music is “good” by critics lmao. Radiohead is rubbish as far as I’m concerned. Most influential band my you know what.

    • u

      Agreed on Radiohead. Overrated as hell.

  • Griff

    why not nickelback instead?

    • ericalina

      i would donate my salary for a couple months to never hear a song by them again.

      • The Devil

        Yeah right.

      • mari

        Hey now, my 5 yr-old loves them. :P

    • Katie G

      literally I was just thinking to myself the same thing when I stumbled across your comment … nickelback needs to be done.

      • stephanie

        I’m poor and I would gladly donate several nickels to this campaign !

  • Mike

    Seriously, Weezer? If you’re going to pick a band just choose Nickleback.

  • Allison

    Nickleback! I’d give $12 to get rid of them.

  • Liz

    I’d rather us all pitch in on simply sending him an email and telling him how much of an arse he is. He doesnt’ like Weezer? Boo hoo I don’t like Justin Bieber and you don’t see me trying to tell him to go away.

    • Ray

      because you’re lazy

  • Dave

    I know this is a music post, but is $194 really 1% of 10 million? Really?

  • Mike

    1% of $10,000,000 is $100,000. $194 is actually .00194%.
    Math counts just as much as grammer.

    • Joanna

      Or grammar, even.

    • Breckster82

      it’s funny how he says it’s not about him when most of the sentences start with some version of “I”

    • shmitty

      Yeah… not so much on the math there EW.

  • Dave

    Honestly, of all the bands in the world, he wants Weezer to break up? There are so many more bands that are more atrocious in every possible way, like Nickelback.

    • K

      Ha! I thought that too! I still wouldn’t donate any money for a band to quit, but I’d maybe think about donating money if it was for Nickelback

    • rawr

      Ha I know! I haven’t even heard a Weezer song on the radio in like 5 years, aside from rock radio playing their old classics from back when they were still good. This guy just needs to get a life or something. And I would totally pay some money to see Nickelback go away, as well as all the clone bands that sound exactly like them.

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