Rebecca Black recording 'LOL' single to follow 'Friday'; Miley Cyrus is not a fan

Wow, it takes a real man to bash teen girls, especially one who is not on any label yet, and has just posted a video on YouTube. Do you and all the other male female-haters bashing Rebecca Black and Miley Cyrus own YouTube, or own the right to decide what is or isn’t good music for everyone else? Are you proud of yourself now, JB Lynch?

I swear, so many men are leading this hate-fest against a female tween who has great charisma, a catchy song, and a clean, entertaining video that doesn’t objectify her or any other female. What a terrible thing! (Find any MAN who could and would pull that off!)

Especially with nuclear meltdowns, global warming, and the U.S. attacking yet another country, Libya, all this male hatred of sweet, charming, fun Rebecca Black is such an intelligent place for the energies of all of you. But then, that’s right, nuclear meltdowns, global warming from unsustainable petroleum-based male inventions, and bombing other countries are all products of male hatred of all life, nature, and joy on the planet.

I don’t recall anyone bashing the group that did “Our House.” “Our house, in the middle of our street, Our house, that was where we used to sleep.” Now there’s some intelligent lyrics!

I don’t recall hundreds of thousands of males who wish they were cool, and who are desperately unable to voice an original opinion about anything, bashing that group.

But then again, maybe it is because it was sung by all males (not as easy a target, because bashing males is not cool the way bashing females, especially happy, confident teen females is) with British accents.

And you know, any music sung with a British accent just has to be good.

Ever since I was a teen girl, I noticed that males tend to prefer music that kills all joy. It has to be violent, it has to have screaming guitars that ruin the song, it has to have tuneless jazz non-melodies that are depressing and you-know, oh so cool, even if they are joyless to listen to. The lyrics have to promote hate and being cold. And most of all, they have to be about objectifying females, and treating us like sh**.

I think you, JB Lynch, and all your hundreds of thousands of depressed, hate-filled boyfriends, could learn a little about cutting loose and just, well, being happy, from Rebecca Black.

What a terrible thing that would be!

Oh, and before writing your snide column, be honest and tell us how many times YOU listened to Rebecca Black’s song?

And the rest of the time, are you sticking to only songs that are about stopping global warming, and protesting the American almost all-male troops’ bloodfest being waged against combatants and civilians in Libya?

Just checking.

Do get back to us on these questions.