Last year at the VMAs, Bieber-sized comedian Kevin Hart stole the show with his ceremony-opening comedy routine.
This year, MTV made him the emcee for the whole event.
During his opening monologue, Hart didn’t really skewer any celebs — except for Russell Brand (“Two years! How did that happen?” he asked of the Brit’s multi-year VMA hosting gig) — but he did offer his take on various pop culture events of the last few months.
On Drake and Chris Brown’s bar brawl: “Here’s what you don’t know about Drake,” said Hart. “Drake is from Canada. He loves to recycle…” Hart explained that the only reason Drake allegedly threw a bottle across the bar was because he was trying to throw it into a recycling bin. When it allegedly hit Chris Brown, Hart says that Drake explained he was aiming for “the bin,” but Brown heard him say, “Bitch.”
On Snooki’s new baby, Lorenzo: Hart said he was glad Snooki finally gave birth, since she’d had her baby “in the oven” for so long. Not that the heat should matter too much. “You’ve been cookin your skin for a while,” quipped Hart.
On Kristen Stewart’s cheating scandal: Hart joked that, following Kristen Stewart’s alleged affair with Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, a new dwarf joined the block. “Look, we’ve got Sleepy, Grumpy, Adultery,” he said. Still, Hart said that people shouldn’t be too hard on her: “Everybody’s mad at Kristen Stewart for making a mistake… If she did, so what? It’s over. Move on.”
All in all, it wasn’t a particularly funny opening. Hart mostly told stories — like his fairly lame account of why Frank Ocean came out — but kept light on jokes. Still, he’s indisputably excited to be there, and kept the opening brisk, which is always good. Plus, the guy gets major points for willingly standing next to the towering Dwight Howard.
Readers, what’d you think?