She’s totally not Miley, you guys! She can objectify her own self without any help from stupid Disney, dammit! Or anything resembling dignity. Or pants.

That’s the message Gossip Girl star and The Pretty Reckless frontwoman-child Taylor Momsen seems determined to drive home in every raccoon-eyed, shredded-thigh-high rebel yell she issues in interviews, on unsuspecting sidewalks, and now, in her latest video, for the single “Miss Nothing.”

I can’t lie; I moderately enjoy the whole late-period Garbage/Hole rock-vixen redux thing she’s working on the band’s new EP. In its own shamelessly derivative way, “Makes Me Wanna Die” is kind of a great Shirley Manson approximation, despite sharing its title with another, better song from (hey!) the mid ’90s.

But sweetie, no. Putting your underage heinie on the menu in the video for “Miss Nothing” is not only inappropriate (you weren’t even born until 1993), it’s unhygenic. You’ve got your hair tracks in the mashed potatoes and your ass in the cranberry sauce.

Please, just let the nice men (bandmates? uncles?), who look like they would so desperately rather be at a gig with their System of a Down cover band, drink their goblets of mead and eat their Ren Faire turkey drumsticks in peace.

Readers, if you must, grab your eatin’ bibs and watch this glorious mess after the jump: READ FULL STORY »