I put the word “sings” in quotes because, well, let’s be honest here: There was no singing of any kind going on during Heidi Montag’s performance of her song “Body Language” at the 2009 Miss Universe competition, as you can see in the clip below. What there was, was some moderately competent lip-syncing, some Britney-wannabe choreography, and…that’s about it. “Body Language” isn’t much of a tune, either — think Rockwell’s 1984 hit “Somebody’s Watching Me” with some robot cooing soulless come-ons instead of that killer Michael Jackson hook.
But, hey, Heidi Montag is totally a famous person, and famous people get to do stuff like launching a music career on national television despite possessing no discernible musical ability whatsoever. Oh well. I guess this performance wasn’t any more pointless or degrading to humanity than the Miss Universe competition itself.
Watch “Body Language” below, if you really want to, then speak up: Does this make you feel better or worse about Heidi Montag’s prospects in the music biz? Or am I being too harsh? Does anyone actually like this nonsense?
More from EW’s Music Mix:
Quentin Tarantino’s radio show playlist
OutKast’s B.O.B.: Song of the decade?
Whitney, Mariah, Madonna, or Barbra: Who’s your favorite fall diva?
David Gray: A Music Mix Q&A
i made it to 28 seconds. she needs to go away. and take her husband with her.
I made it 2.8 seconds and had to turn the chanlee…it was so bad it went beyond bad…isn’t her 15 minutes of fame way way way over?
10 seconds – is 10 seconds that I will never be able to get back – ugh – can she go away now
A whole 28 seconds! She’s horrible.
29 seconds here – just wanted to see if she’d take off that ugly jacket.
Wow. I try to tell people that there are white people who can dance and then she goes and does this! Seriously, if you have no rhythm, don’t try this at home- or onstage at a live international venue.
i have to be in agreement with your commenting. she was horribble and not very good at signing. plus, i hate to say such thinks but her outfit or costum or whatever she wearing looking like from britteny spear’s outfit or costum from five years ago.
It was a lot more then 5 years ago remided me of the out she wore at the vmas when she did her striptease to oops i did it again. that was 99 i think
I thought she was fantastic! She can sing, she has a fab body, but maybe her moves need to improve. She will get better and better, this is a superstar in the making!!!
LOL Spencer. You’re not fooling anyone.
Maybe her moves “need to improve”? That’s the understatement of the year. The comparisons to Britney are an insult. I’m not even a huge Britney fan, but Heidi makes her look like the best female artist of all time!
Lmao Kristina.
Haha, Spencer is right!! Spencer don’t you have a Playboy to carry around and have your picture taken with it? Fact: Heidi is no superstar in the making, she’s a wannabe whose 15 minutes is just about up…I hope!
You’re joking, right? “Maybe her moves need to improve?” Sorry, she’s not getting on any Hot Tamale Train anytime this century.
Horrible! Just Horrible! Too much “crazy” for me! Please, both of you, just go away!
Who are you, Heidi’s mom? Only her mother would think she was good or Spencer
okay either you had your eyes and ears closed throughout the entire performance or you are spencer pratt, which in that case, why don’t you go invest in some real estate in siberia?
Don’t be insulting my sista people, you hags and rednecks are just jealous of the beautiful, extremely talented Heidi, the new Queen of Pop! Don’t hate, just love, love all of it. Plenty of it to go around!
3 words for you: CRACK IS WHACK
Her husband is whoring her out. This smacks of desperation.
Horrible… ugh
IS SHE REALLY, REALLY, SINGING
Just saw the video. Floored. I believe I just witnessed the birth of a great, nay, an all-time great, and perhaps THE all-time greatest artist. Ever. I am still weeping.
love the sarcasm!! i had to read it twice to make sure!
It doesn’t mattet if you watched it for 28 seconds, 2.8 seconds or anything in between. You clicked on it. And then you commented on a blog. And then you said, why won’t she just go away? Because you clicked on it. And commented on a blog.
You’re right Joe! She has us in her thrall! If only she were actually the Spider Woman, then we’d at least be dead now and the world would have that many less Speidi-Lovers.
Meh. I liked it better when Britney Spears did pretty much the same performance (and outfit) at the 2000 MTV Awards.
seriously. we thought the entire time, “what is britney thinking right now?” I’m embarrassed for Heidi. Also, compared to all the contenstants, that outfit made her tiny figure look big. Not a good choice.
I agree. That outfit made her look heavier and washed out. Not very flattering. I would think if your performing on a beauty pageant, you’d glam it up, but this was just plain wrong.
ITA, she dances knock-kneed and can’t lipsync. Her and he-who-shall-not-be named need to go far, far away.
Dead on. This was such groundbreaking and career-defining moment…for Britney. Nine years ago.
I wonder if Heidi is aware of what a joke she is, or if she actually thinks that she’s gonna make it.
Britney did this at her prime and did it damn well. Heidi can’t sing, can’t dance, doesn’t have star quality. She is a fail.
yeah she did Britney rules!!! but heidi singing made Britneys bad performance seem like it should of won a grammy!
I was thinking the exact same thing when I saw the pic.. could she try and be any more Britney? Just go away already.. and take your flesh colored beard “husband” with you!!!!!
If she was doing this act as part of one of those celebrity impersionations shows in Las Vegas, then it would make sense. But during an international beauty pageant, on live TV on top of that, I just don’t get it. Stick a fork in her. She and her flesh-colored beard pimp (not even worthy of being called husband) are done.
Wow! Haven’t heard about this girl in months – too bad you had to end that streak for me.
That’s ok… if this is the best she’s got, I’m not worried about hearing about her again in the near future.
She’s really bland. Her costume is boring and her dancing is pretty mediocre. The music and singing sounded like your typical pop song. I neither hated it nor liked it. It was just “blah”.
If she ever stars in a movie it should be called “Legally Bland”.
That’s an insult to mediocre!!!
Can we please, please stop being subjected to this talentless publicity wh**e and her tool of a husband anymore? Their 15 minutes was over a year ago. They need to get an education and read jobs and get out of our faces.
she has some sex appeal, okay voice, but no dance skills, no stage presence either…sorry Heidi stick to the Hills or acting. The show was ridiculous.
She was lip-synching…how do we even know that “okay voice” is actually hers?
I wonder what she sounds like before they used the autotune on her voice during the recording of her vocal. Someday, when she’s making porn movies, she’ll look back on all this and laugh.
I felt like a bug drawn to a lightbulb, it was so hideous I couldn’t turn away. If you want to know what her real voice sounds like, listen to her say “thank you” at the end of the number. High, squeaky little voice…almost as bad as her outfit, dancing and lip syncing. PLEASE MAKE HER GO AWAY!
I can see Spencer pimping her out to porn movies if he can’t make money off her any other way…he obviously doesn’t work a real job; his parents must be so proud of their son…the really scary thing is; for publicity sooner or later they will produce little Speidis…now that is a horrifying thought.
LOL
Totally agree.
Sooooo funny….don’t you guys feel a little sorry for her? I mean the entire universe is laughing at her!!!
I watched a little of ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here’ and Heidi sang a little bit on there… um, the auto-tune is VERY generous.
She sang briefly during her pathetic stint on I’m a Celeb. I wanted to cry when it was over. And that was not a good thing. It was more like a fall to your knees and thank god for making the bad noise go away cry.
Uhh.. what’s wrong with it? She’s hot & not rail thin for a change! I think someone’s jealous & being catty! But what do you expect from this industry?! =^.^=
She does have a great figure; nobody is saying otherwise. This was about her singing and dancing abilities which, you have to admit, are terrible. No jealousy here.
She has the best figure money can buy
Jealous? Seriously? Why would anyone be jealous of her? She has no singing nor dancing talent, her look was artificially enhanced, she has the speaking voice of a toddler, and her husband is a publicity-hungry sleazebag. Again, what’s there to be jealous of?
She the the figure that anyone with a lot of extra cash could also pay to have.
I’d hardly call a horseface “hot” and she isn’t rail thin, she actually has big hips if you really want to hear the truth.
Uhh, yeah, her “figure” is called plastic surgery. Men & women need to get over the stick thin Barbie Doll image, what happened to curves???
They sampled a great ’80s song…Situation by Yaz and turned it into this train wreck…Why are we even indulging these people any longer? How do you get famous for being famous? It’s such a shame.
I agree-what a train wreck!! And she (and “her producers”) took one of my favorite 80′s dance tracks and made it horrible. If I were Yaz (who later became Erasure et al), I’d sue her!!
Please tell me Vince Clarke didn’t consent to the use of that sample.
of course he did. he probably makes a nickel everytime they play it. probably made up to a whole quarter by now.
What’s with the “singing” in a baby voice? It sounded like a ton of other pop songs with no personality. Her dancing stinks too.
Is the sound off on the video or is her dancing just that bad?
its just that bad
heide pls sit the hell down.you can’t sing and your dancing is horrible.darling your 15 minutes of fame are up,spencer stop pimping your wife..
lol, I didn’t know the Miss Universe competition added a comedy segment, that was very funny indeed. Why Mrs Pratt is a comic genius.
Who is she, and why is she famous?
I agree – why is she on the TV – oh and who really cares about Miss Universe.
lol don’t bother looking her up…waste of time.
No talent, absolutely no stage presence – I wish Speidi would just disappear from the planet. It is really unfortunate that she ruined the song “Situation” by Yaz with that tuneless dreck…
Agreed. I listened to the first ten seconds, recognized the music and fired up Yaz on my Itunes instead.