Ke$ha shoots co-star James Van Der Beek and countless unicorns in her 'Blow' video

KeshaHow did unicorns die out? According to Ke$ha’s “Blow” music video, it looks like she and James Van Der Beek gunned down most of them at a swank cocktail party (the last refuge of any endangered species).

The first two minutes of “Blow” are deceptively normal—well, as average as a video with bipedal unicorns in tuxedos can be. Deprived of her trademark Keith Richards-via-dumpster-diving look, this edition of Ke$ha is dressed to the nines, sipping champagne and dancing with the soiree’s only other non-mythical member, James Van Der Beek (Who refers to her as Ke-dollar sign-HA, just like Glee’s Principal Figgins).

Sparkling wine? Where’s the Jack D, girl? Has fame and fortune spoiled our pretension-free party girl? Considering her first words to Dawson Leery are, “Well, if it isn’t James Van Der Douche,” the answer is a resounding “no.” (Skip ahead to 2:20 for the funny stuff).

Lucky-lady Kesha then does to James Van Der Beek what so many of us have been fantasizing about for years: whip out two laser pistols, mow him down and mount his head on her wall.

Sadly, many unicorns are caught in the crossfire, but happily, they bleed rainbows, so we are treated to a spectacle grander than a Skittles commercial but not quite the equal of walking down Christopher Street during Pride Week.

Wait… unicorns in the video… maybe it WAS a dream…. oh my god, is Ke$ha is a replicant?

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Comments (19 total) Add your comment
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  • Steph

    Ke$ha is a talentless hoe.

  • LG

    KESHA SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • halloraj

    This is such an f-you to Gaga. “Hey look, I can make pretentious videos for shallow pop songs too.” I love it

    • Mel

      Yeah unfortunately, Kesha is a joke too.

  • Julius

    Go Kesha. Even if you find her irrelevant you still watched the video and then scrolled down to comment. Snapppp

  • Nat

    The return of Simon in another video #HIMYM lol

  • jpratm

    shes disgusting.

  • Cris

    Appropriate title. Kesha certainly does blow.

  • Stacy

    I really dislike her!! I know I know I watched the dam video and I took the time to comment, but I was trying to give her a shot and I never thought I’d say this but she looks better trashy! and the song is terrible and just because it is SOO bad It will be stuck in my head….

  • matt

    unicorns? lady gaga much? love you but not a good choice.

    • A2

      How is it lady gaga? Lady Gaga would never do a video like this. It’s not wierd or artistic enough. But I really like the video. In my opinion of Ke$ha’s best/funniest.

  • m

    this video was written and directed by chris marrs piliero who recently also wrote and directed the latest black keys howlin video…his work is pretty epic!

  • dang

    OMG tht sucked. Go back to generic-ly bad, not just nerd humour crass.

  • willy collen

    i liked not what i expected but still good

  • Thaye

    Oh god, I truly love your hilarious links and references in this article, dear Mr. Joseph Brannigan Lynch. I would recommend it any time. Keep it up.

  • sounds all the same

    doesn’t this song sound just like the first single, “we r who we r”… blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, lol!

  • Andre

    VEVO doesn’t like Canadians…content blocked from my country.

    • theBigE

      No one likes Canadians, Andre, eh?

      Just kidding. I love Tim Horton’s.

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